This place is Horrible - that pretty much says it all. Peeling paint, broken AC, broken phone, room not ready for over an hour after promised check-in, and perhaps my favorite - hairballs on the bathroom floor. Here, a crusty old bagel constitutes a "continental breakfast." At almost $300 a night after taxes, you would be better served paying the extra $50-$100 a night and staying somewhere better - pretty much any other place will fit that description, trust me. When I complained about the issues cited above after finally getting into our room , I was initially told "there is nothing I can do" by the manager. When I mentioned that I wanted my money back and the phone numbers of other hotels in the area, another room magically appeared, with equally chipping paint and even a matching hairball in the bathroom - the newest amenity was a leaking sink, but at least the phone worked and the AC provided some ventilation (not cooling), rather than heating our room, like the previous unit. I have never been so happy to leave vacation and go home.

We just returned from Grape Bay (4/12-4/15). It was $359 p.p. for RT airfare from Boston + 3 nights' lodging, and I figured that given that, we had little room to complain. (It's BERMUDA!) While I've certainly stayed in far less pleasant hotels, I do have to say that the downsides prevail. I tried to keep an open mind and reminded myself that I had booked one of the cheapest hotels in Bermuda. I tried not to compare it unfavorably to Grotto Bay, where we'd stayed last year. We're low-maintenance travelers but when I asked my husband if he could see a reason to return to Grape Bay, I could almost hear the crickets chirping.

I've got to agree with several recent reviews. This could be a nicer hotel, even with minimal cosmetic fixes, and I disagree with my Frommers' guide that this is a "find." There is a half-mile walk in from the road to the hotel, so it's not feasible to run back during the day for a change of clothes, a nap, etc. only to run out again. (And I certainly would not recommend walking that stretch after dark, given the winding narrow Bermuda roads.)

The hotel is a short walk down to the beach, although the path goes down through some private properties and at one point we turned around and asked at the hotel desk, thinking that we were trespassing. (The "private property - no trespassing" signs made us feel that this couldn't be the path we were supposed to take!) The beach is lovely for strolling, but not swimming. The water is a bit rough and there's no shortage of fully- and partially-submerged rocks. Instead, we took the #7 bus several stops to Elbow Beach (well worth checking out).

The restaurant, Sapori, was only open for dinner while we were there. As of next week (April 21) Sapori will be open for lunch too. Otherwise, the closest restaurant is back on the main road - the Ice Queen, a take-out place. I was disappointed that my Frommers' guide alluded to sushi and Thai curries at Sapori in addition to the pizzas and pastas, because nothing like that was on the menu we saw. Instead, it was all surprisingly heavy fare - meat lasagna, fish and chips, pastas with cream- or butter-based sauces. The good news is that their thin-crust pizzas are enough for two people and they're available for take-out. (Pretty decent pizza, too.) This came in handy when we didn't feel like getting dressed to go out.

Our room was...okay. It was reasonably clean but in need of some refurbishing. We got one key and it was difficult to get the door to open. The sealant around the bathroom faucet was gone, and when we turned the tap a pool of water would grow around the base of the plating. The water pressure was somewhat low, but that's to be expected on an island where every property is responsible for catching its own drinking and bathing water. The bed and pillows were pretty soft and I'd wondered how long it had been since they'd been replaced.

I told myself that it’s not as if there’s a Home Depot or Lowe’s on the island, and that it’s not that simple to do large-scale overhauls of property. But even small touches would make a difference. For instance, holes were dug into the concrete walls of our room to install the sprinkler system – but then the cement was not patched up. The exterior lighting was on in the morning, but not on when I was walking between buildings at 9:30 at night. There's no reason for guests to be walking in the dark if the lights work! The soda/water machine remained empty during our stay. The roof above our deck leaked when it rained.

The staff was polite but kind of laid back, depending on who was working the front desk. One guest was told - erroneously - that the local buses accept bills. When I asked about how to get to Elbow Beach, the front desk did not mention the Railway Trail option, but another guest did. (My advice - talk to your fellow guests about itineraries, directions and such!) One morning the coffee was removed at 10 a.m., despite breakfast being served until 10:30 (and the urns had been full).

I already had a cold so I couldn't tell if our room was especially damp, since we were on the ground level.

Still, being in Bermuda negates all of this, and to me that's the bottom line. It wasn't so bad that we wanted to leave and find another place to stay. If you set your expectations accordingly and are just looking for a place to crash at night, Grape Bay might be just fine for you.

This hotel could be so much more. It has the location -- close to beach. The walk to the bus stop is far but we did it a few times but always took a cab home. The rooms do need updating but for us they were clean while we were there. The breakfast was fine but the same day after day. They had a free computer (in the lobby) to use which helped when you were wondering why the restaurant or bar was never open. Once you were back there in the evening unfortunately there was nothing to do and you had to go to your rooms. For the price on Expedia it was fine. But if we had paid the going rate we would have been very upset!

I agree with most of the other reviewers so I will skip on to some things that weren't mentioned. First, get the ocean view room. It's worth the extra money. The beautiful view was the best thing about our room. The room's fridge is very small but valuable as we picked up drinks from the Mini Mart close by. Our shower provided not much more than a small stream of water. The Sapori Restaurant wasn't worth the money and there are lots of good restaurants in Hamilton. The continental breakfast didn't change for the 6 days we were there so it got boring after a couple of days. Overall, the hotel needs some maintenance. Paint, new hall carpet, new lawnchairs, pressure washing the courtyard, that sort of thing. Staff were friendly but management needs to spend a few bucks keeping the place up.
Onto some other tips to make the most of your trip. Take the ferries around Hamilton harbour. The views are breathtaking. Plan a picnic at Horseshoe Bay. One of the most beautiful beaches on the planet. The water is the bluest you will ever see. The Royal Naval Dockyard was an interesting historical exhibit that is good for a half day's tour and if you get bored, there's always the dolphin park there for amusement. St. George's is a good walking tour and they have a few nice restaurants. Wouldn't bother with Botanical Gardens or Tobacco Bay Beach. Have a rum swizzle at the Swizzle Inn, the oldest restaurant on the island (they have a new one on the South Shore). South Shore has beautiful beaches and hotels. Dinners were excellent at Hog Penny, Pickled Onion, Bolero and Lobster Pot but be prepared to pay. My wife and I split a meal and with a drink each and the tab was $50+. People were friendly and polite and we felt safe most everywhere we went. All in all, we loved Bermuda and highly recommend it.